fingers crossed

Okay so now that the initial stress of finding an agent and looking at mortgage approval and going over specifics is all done , I'm finally starting to enjoy this whole house shopping thing. Greg on the other hand is not much of a fan, haha. I think he wanted us to fall madly in love with the first house we saw so we could just be done, but that didn't happen.

Tomorrow we're looking at a house in Breslau and one in Elmira, I'm personally hoping the one in Elmira is okay and we can put in an offer. I love Elmira, which is funny cause I've always been more big city. Since Greg moved to Elmira and we've been there all the time I developed this strong love of the community and the people, seriously that place is so laid back and calm. I was worried about the fact that it's a smaller town and there isin't much in way of employment and I was also worried that there would be nothing for childrent to do and my daughter would get bored and act out as a result of boredom and next thing you know Greg and I are grandparents at the same time that all of our friends are just starting families, yes I know I'm a worrier. That's not going to happen though (hopefully), because I looked into it and Elmira has a brand new gymnastics club and rec center and Ireland could still stay in her gymnastics and soccer. They also have a pool (thank god) so she can stick with swimming lessons and I can continue to do my lane swimming. The house we're looking at backs right onto the school yard of the school Ireland would go to and is right across the street from the gym!!!! It sounds so perfect, I hope to god we like this house!!!!!

Sick In a good way

Can I just say to anyone and everyone who has ever bought a house and still managed to come out sane and not kill somebody....you are my heroes. I know buying a house is stressful, I mean everyone who has ever bought one (except for those I know who paid cash for one and still had a crazy amount in the bank) has told me at some point how overwhelming it was....I heard you guys but I guess I wasn't really listening, lol. This last couple weeks have been crazy and although Greg and I have not had a fight in like the last two years, I'm expecting that streak will be broken any moment.
Don't get me wrong I am genuinely excited about the fact that we are going to be buying a house and living together and are becoming more of a "traditional family". I am in no way doubtful that all of this stress is going to pay off, however I can not remember a time in my life that I have ever been this terrified. Fine there was that time that I had to go to Gregs and my family and tell them that I was pregnant, not going right to college and possibly making a decision that would guarantee me and greg never becoming anything and living in poverty forever. Now that I remember that time this house buying thing in theory should be a breeze, lol...yet it's not.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have an extreme fear of failure. The fear of failure is probably my biggest fear in buying a house. I am so terrified that we're going to buy a total crap hole that sucks everything we have out of us, or buy a house only for one of us to lose our job or worse go back to fighting as much as we did the first time that we lived together. This has the potential to be one of the best most defining, influential moments of my life...if it works. If this fails then it has the potential to make my daughter miserble, cause me and greg to hate each other, soak up my entire life savings and make me into a miserble , bitter bitch. Lets cross our fingers that this works!

Resolutions

I typically don't make resolutions out loud because frankly more then 70% of the time I don't stick with them. I have a fear of looking like a failure so I don't commit to something and voice it unless I'm pretty positive it's going to pan out for me. It's recently come to my awareness though that some serious changes in my life have to be made so I figured I'd write them out on here and hope to god that when I revisit this in 10 months they've all been achieved.....wish me luck!!!

1) Get my insulin levels, blood pressure and cholesterol levels to where they should be. I was just diagnosed with pre diabetes so this is a major one because if I take initiative and do everything right then in theory it should be reversed.

2) Get my weight to a healthy weight that I'm happy with. This is partly due to the pre diabetes and partly because I'm sick of not being thin and wearing the hordes of beautiful and expensive clothing that I own lol. I've actually already lost a lot of weight but I still need to lose more to be totally in the clear.

3) Do a substantial amount of volunteering with an organization that I feel is important. I've always volunteered a lot but frankly due to being busy it has decreased by a lot so I would like to get back into that.

4) Donate more blood, I keep forgetting to go in and do it and frankly there is no excuse.

5) re write my will and up my life insurance. I keep meaning to do this but frankly I avoid unpleasant and stressful situations and this is one of those.

6) take at least one major trip either as a family or with Greg and (still deciding). I'm hoping on a Disney trip as a family or basically anywhere with Greg.

7) Have some esthetic stuff done to my teeth. I've been an avid pop drinker for years and frankly it's stained my teeth a little I keep meaning to get in and have it done but seem to always put the money somewhere else so this year I will hopefully put it towards the teeth.

8)renew my license and possibly get a car. I haven't renewed my license because it seemed pointless due to not having a car lol but I should get in and do it so I can continue to drive Greg's car. I also should really get a car for convenience although in all honesty I'm not a big fan of cars and the damage they do as well as the overwhelming gas prices but I guess to make it easier on Ireland I should give in and get one.

9) Try and see my dad and sister since it's been a year and a half since I've visited out West or they've been here. I may go out West so I can also see the rest of my family and one of my best friends and her family but if not I will plan a trip to meet up with my dad and sister or one of them. I'm actually debating a vegas trip with my sister and then going back with her for a bit out to BC....we'll see.

10) Get more organized

11) get out of the house with Greg more often. Lately we've really fallen into the trap of just sitting around the house when we spend time together and I think it's important to get out and actually do mutually enjoyed things so I'm working on it.

12)Go out more to bars/clubs, etc. I'm actually not a big drinker BUT I love to dance and socialize. I'm getting to the point where if I don't get on it soon then after another couple years I'll feel like a senior citizen at the bars so I want to get out a bit more now that Ireland is older and not as dependent on Greg and I.

13) Spend more time with family, especially Gregs sister Shari. This is probably a good idea because we used to be very close and through the years have become preoccupied with our own lives and such. I would like to be able to hang out a bit more like we used to and she recently mentioned the same thing so we'll work on it.

Tag

Tag!

I totally stole this from Sarah cause I'm bored and thought this would pass some time.....it worked.

Things you have done during your lifetime:
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( x) Been to Mexico
( x) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawai
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
( x) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean.
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
(X) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
(X) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( x) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
(x ) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
(X ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
( x) Been to Disneyland
( x) Been to Disney World
() Truly believe in the power of prayer
( ) Been in a rain forest
( x) Seen whales in the ocean
(X) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
(X) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
(x) Created Life
(x) Been in love