Are you living the life you imagined?

So I have not updated this blog for pretty much forever and although I've thought about it at times things have been a little crazy and I never got around to it but lately I feel an overwhelming urge to write so thought I'd do it here!
The other day while I was shopping I went into Green Earth at Fairiview and noticed one of those inspirational signs they have that read "Live the life you imagined for yourself". I'm not going to lie, I love those inspirational signs, my house is filled with frames, candle holders, signs, etc that say them. They just remind me to value things that sometimes I forget to appreciate or remind me to act in ways that I should act in but often forget to. This particular sign really hit me and not only made me think but honestly almost made me start to cry. I really sat and thought about if I was living the life I imagined for myself and it makes me really sad to admit that right now I'm not even close.
I guess some things I imagined, I did imagine having children by now and I have one, I imagined havng a degree which I have and a home that I own so I'm on track with all that but sadly I imagined myself a lot more content and overly happy then I am.
I really sat and wondered why I'm not where I thought I would be and the answer was pretty obvious, I lowered my standards and tolerated actions that as a person I swore I would never tolerate. I made other persons a priority when the priority should have been me and/or Ireland and although I'm not to blame for the way things started to go downhill, I am to blame for sitting there and taking it because that sends a clear message to people that their behaviour is okay. All these years I've told friends, family, co workers, etc that people will treat you in the way you allow yourelf to be treated but yet for monthes I've sat here crying and not understanding why I'm in this situation when the real answer is, because I allowed it.
Any one who knows me knows that I really love life. Although different religions and beliefs will vary on what happens when we die, I do believe that we can all probably agree that this will be our only shot being the person we currently are in the family and situaion that we are currently in, this will be our only chance at this particular life. I've really tolerated a lot because at the end of the day I thought it may get me what I wanted in the end but then I realized that even if I some day get what I want with that person it still won't be what I wanted because I will know that for years I was second best, for years I wasn't important anought to cause this person to change there ways and I will always fear that one day they will go back to those ways and I'll be back at sqaure one. I guess in short I've built my life around other persons, I've put all my eggs in one basket. My life would of been lived based on the way that someone else has chosen to live thier life and everything I want from this one life, this one shot that I have would be based on what that person is doing with their one shot. I'ver asked my self if I'm a person that can assosciate with people who lie and are so willing to hurt people they've been connected to for years, can I allow myself to be anything less then a priority with someone who is supposed to lvoe me, can I allow my daughter to have anything less then perfect and stable and safe, can I afford for her to see unhealthy situations that will affect her and mold her life and have lasting consequences, and the answer is no. I can't look back years from now ad know that with my one shot, with the one life I was given I spent it wating on someone else or compromising myself so others could be happy and I don't think anyone should have to do that. If two people ar ein a situation where they both have to compromise what they wat then it doesn't really matter who has better values or moral characters or who is right the point is everyone has a right to live the life they want to live and everyone has a right to not assoscite with someone based on not aggreeing with the way they choose to live.
All in all I'm so glad I walked into that store I'm so glad that it became obvious to me that this is not the way I want to live. As much as I love certain persons as much as I wish things were different , at this moment in time they are exactly what they are and I can't assume they're going to change because assumptions very rarily go as expected. I'm sure the next few monthes will be difficult, their will be a lot of changes, a lot of broken ties a lot of readjustment but in the end I truly believe it willbe best for everyone involved and that we can all start living the lives we imagined.